


One Dream Too Many

by okaybutmuke (wxrlddestroyer)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Declarations Of Love, Falling In Love, Falling Out of Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluid Sexuality, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Heartbreak, M/M, Multi, My interpretation of what happened to muke, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Time Skips, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 13:25:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15340812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wxrlddestroyer/pseuds/okaybutmuke
Summary: Luke was living the dream.But all dreams come to an end.





	One Dream Too Many

Luke was fifteen when he met his first best friend.  
There had been others in the past of course, and his friends were great, but being Luke's Best Friend was an honor bestowed on very few and none of them really fit the bill.  
Michael was a year ahead of Luke, and never let him forget it, even though he was failing almost all of his classes. He had a ridiculously long blond fringe and he dressed like a Hot Topic threw up on him even though their school had a uniform policy. He was the definition of awesome.  
He would let Luke come to his house and they'd play music together. Sometimes he'd randomly show up at Luke's front door and ask to hang out, because his own house didn't have Wi-Fi, and was therefore less fun. Despite his parents' complaints, he never turned Michael away.  
But before Michael and Luke were  _MichaelAndLuke_ , they didn't like each other very much. Meaning  _Michael_  didn't like  _Luke_  very much. The elder was all exasperated attitude and eye rolls, and Luke didn't understand. Then one day Michael was periodic compliments and confident yet wary smiles, and Luke still didn't understand, but this cool guy from year 11 thought that he was cool enough to hang out with, and that was enough. Michael became his Best Friend.

Luke was sixteen when his world started changing.  
After Michael and Luke had become  _MichaelAndLuke_ , they soon became  _MichaelAndCalumAndLuke_. They all played guitars and had the same music taste, so it was pretty obvious that they would start a band, looking back.  
It was awkward sometimes; Michael and Luke had something that Calum could never understand, and even though they had become  _MichaelAndCalumAndLuke_ , they were  _MichaelAndLuke_  first.  
Their band wasn't that good, and three guitars were too many guitars, but after a while, they had a following of sorts.  
Then,  _MichaelAndCalumAndLuke_  became  _MichaelAndAshtonAndCalumAndLuke_ , or 5 Seconds of Summer. Calum started playing the bass, and Ashton had his box thingy that he sat on for percussion. They were still kind of a mess, but it worked, and they were complete.  
Luke was barely done with year 11 when they moved to London. It was cold and dreary all the time–December was a bad time to relocate hallway across the world–and their flat was far too small for four teenage boys. Sometimes he'd retreat to his bed until someone–always Michael–came and rescued him. They would go walk through the shops in the village and Michael would buy him outrageously expensive hot chocolate, even though they were broke and Ashton, the band's certified den mother, would scold him for it later. They were still  _MichaelAndLuke_ , although Michael's ridiculously long blond fringe was now short and dark brown with stubble on his jaw to match, while Luke's baby fat was waning and he had grown at least six inches since August.  
The unrelenting snow and Calum's tendency to run the heat low made the nights so bitterly cold that not even Luke's thickest sweater could prove any warmth. Sometimes (most times) he'd climb into Michael's bed and curl around the older boy's back. Michael never objected. He'd just turn over and wrap his hands around Luke's to warm them up for him. And sometimes (most times) they wouldn't let go, even though they both knew Luke's hands had been sufficiently warmed.  
There were no explicit boundaries between them, and it was scary. Just the thought of Michael holding him at night would make his heart speed up, which was even scarier. No one had ever made him feel that way before. There was a line between friends and more-than-friends that had been erased and Luke didn't know what to label Michael as. Michael told him that no matter what, he'd always be Luke's Best Friend.

He was seventeen when he realized his Best Friend was also the love of his life.  
There had been plenty of girlfriends (two) that he cared about deeply, but they all paled in comparison to his rescuer, hand warmer, definition-of-awesome Best Friend. Luke had come to terms with his sexuality on countless cold nights they'd spent tangled together, and Michael was understanding. They spent the rest of the winter holding hands under tables and stealing kisses when no one was looking.  
Luke was living out his fantasy; touring the world with his best friends (not to be confused with his Best Friend) and opening every night for One Direction.  
When The Event happened, they were in the green room of an arena he didn't know the name of in a city just the same. Ashton and Calum were messing around, trying to throw corn chips into each other's mouths (and failing, mostly). Luke had his head resting in Michael's lap and Michael was  _everywhere_. A hand scratching at his scalp, another one rubbing out the knots in his shoulders. He'd never felt so content.  
It was an accident really; a train of thought rolling off the tracks and out of his mouth. He turned over and looked up at Michael, all flushed red cheeks and swallowed adrenaline from coming off stage.  
"I love you," Luke blurted. The rhythm section of the band froze and a corn chip hit Calum on the forehead. Michael blinked at him.  
"You what?"  
"I... I love you?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah."  
Michael giggled (chuckled, like a  _man_ ). "I love you too, noodle boy."  
"Oh, screw off," Luke said. He didn't mean it.

He was eighteen when his dreams came true.  
Him and Michael had become more serious over the past year and in place of a purity ring, there was a promise ring on his finger instead.  
They were gearing up for their first headline tour in November with a whole album full of songs that he could play for the rest of his life and be content with.  
He had everything; a boyfriend he intended to marry, his two best friends by his side, and on top of all that, he was traveling the world as well. Luke was living the dream.  
But all dreams come to an end.  
It was a dull Wednesday in London and the boys were at one of many management meetings, listening to their team drone on about concert dates and merchandise sales. Finally they were allowed a break, and there was a rare moment in which Michael and Luke, or  _Muke_ , as their fans fancied calling them, had a moment to themselves.  
Then their manager walked in.  
The day ended with shocked faces and borderline offensive remarks, not to mention the lecture about 5 Seconds of Summer's ever-growing fanbase and why it was vital that they didn't go public.

He was nineteen when he lost the love of his life.  
All the hiding and all the secrecy was taking a toll on the two. Luke just wanted to hold his boyfriend's hand, for god's sake. All four of them were unsteady, tired from playing shows every night for a year straight.  
Ashton became anxious. Calum started smoking. Michael was homesick.  
"You have it easier," he told Luke one night, "your  _mom_  is here with you. I haven't seen my parents in months. Skype doesn't count." There was venom in his tone that Luke chose to ignore.  
He was convinced that Michael had it worse than the others. He'd always been sensitive, even back when they were in school, and the fatigue was making him extra vulnerable.  
Luke tried his hardest, but Michael still pushed him away. Instead of letting him climb into bed with him and warm his hands, he'd tell Luke to go find another blanket and go back to sleep because the bunks on their tour bus were too small for the two of them.  
The Confrontation was difficult. He had spent that whole night before crying in his bunk, and he knew Michael had heard but didn't bother to check on him. He didn't want to accept that his Best Friend felt indifferent, that their time had run out. And if not that, then what?  
They were sitting in the back room, watching some TV show that Luke couldn't care less about. They sat on opposite sides of the couch.  
"Do you still love me?" he asked. Michael was silent. That was answer enough.  
Michael and Luke were no longer  _MichaelAndLuke_  and Luke no longer had a Best Friend. Calum came close enough anyway.  
Being single got easier after a while. Michael started hanging out with Ashton more, and Luke with Calum. Michael turned twenty and Luke got him a record player.  
Almost a year had passed, and he met someone. She had long brown hair and eyes to match. She was pretty, and cool, and that was enough.  
People started questioning the reality of their very public relationship and she started wondering herself whether Luke loved her or not.  
He insisted that he did and bought her flowers and chocolate and makeup to prove it. It still wasn't enough.

Luke was twenty when he tried to end his life.  
Michael started dating a beautiful woman with pink hair and a shining smile. Luke wanted to hate her, but he couldn't.  
His own love life wasn't as successful. She was manipulative and controlling; always asking for something more when Luke had nothing left to give. Whenever they went on a date, she'd make him take tons of pictures to prove their “love” to the world. He was tired of having cameras shoved in his face.  
His patience was dwindling, as was his mind. He'd written an album, sang until his lungs gave up, then did it all over again. But this was his dream, and the chance to live it out was one in a billion. He had given up his first dream. He wasn’t going to let this one slip away.  
They were in a hotel somewhere in Chicago when he snapped.  
He was sick of always being tired, of screaming fans following him everywhere, of the teeny-bopper music he was playing every night, of his (ex) Best Friend's absence, despite him being right across the hallway.  
Luckily, his ever overbearing girlfriend was out with friends at the time. He found an old notebook, tore some pages out and scrawled some flimsy excuses on them. One for Ashton and Calum, for his family, and one for Michael.  
He went up to the roof and sat on the edge. He thought about jumping, about letting everyone down. He almost really did fall when a hand on his shoulder startled him.  
"What the  _fuck_ , Luke?" Michael asked in the calmest way possible, so not, really.  
"I was just–"  
Careful hands pulled him away from the barrier and back onto the safety of the roof. The hands lingered around his waist, as if to show some form of comfort. But Michael didn't dare hold him any closer. He  _couldn't_. Luke sulked back to his room, crumpled up the papers and threw them in the waste bin.  
Ten minutes later, Ashton showed up at his door with a pizza and overpriced drinks from the minibar. Luke isn't sure what Michael told him, but he's not sure what to think himself. They drank and talked and ate until dawn.

Luke was twenty-one when he started over.  
His girlfriend was now an ex and constantly accused him of horrible, outlandish things on social media. Ash told him not to listen to her, that she was just looking for attention. Luke didn't really care anyway. He never really felt much towards her in the first place.  
He started exercising, drinking less. Painting his nails and wearing eyeshadow at their live shows. Taking care of himself. Michael told him that he was proud of him, that he loved him, as a friend. He accepted it.  
Instead of having one Best Friend, he had multiple. Calum and Ashton of course, and there some newer additions since they moved to LA.  
Michael's girlfriend was still around, and she made a point out of trying to be his friend, too.  
That year began and ended quickly. They released their third album and he was proud of it. He started dating someone new, a girl that knew her fair share about music and didn't like cameras either. It could work.

Luke is twenty-two now.  
The ring Michael gave him is still hidden in his guitar case.  
He's touring again, after a much-needed break. He's got a girlfriend that he can see a future with. He's more confident in himself than he ever was before.  
He never found out why Michael followed him to the roof that night, or why their time had diminished so quickly, but he's living out one of his dreams, and that's more than most people get. He cherishes it, like he wishes he had his first.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking about making this a series, maybe going into more detail about singular events that happened.  
> If you'd like to see another part, tell me in the comments!
> 
> I thought this up while talking to a friend and she encouraged me to write about it. I tried to make this as canon compliant as possible, since this is my personal headcanon. I worked really hard on this and I'm really proud of the finished result. Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> I might start taking requests if that's something you'd like me to do, depending on how much feedback I get. Thank you for reading!


End file.
